Sunday, April 8, 2012

sad wake-up

when you dream you've just landed an agent (a dream so vivid you have one of those moments where the dream-you thinks to herself, this is so great, i'm glad it's not a dream), the one thing that should give it away, beyond the fact that the agent has sent you a sheaf of pages praising each and every one of your chapters, is the fact he's also sent you a pile of forks and tiny spoons.

Friday, April 6, 2012


when your dog likes to go into your closet and pull out one of your shoes and then pull out of your shoe the rubbery inside part, the part that i think is called the insole, and chew on it, and when you then find that insole [or most of it] lying on the rug and shove it back into your shoe and then walk around all day with one of your insoles stuck in your shoe upside down, so the heel part is where your toes are and the toe part is where your heels are, it doesn't feel any different.

Tuesday, March 27, 2012


it's hard to hum the theme to metropolis.

Sunday, March 25, 2012


most people's debit card pin numbers, when entered, sound like shave and a haircut.

Thursday, March 22, 2012


if you put a doggy poop bag in your pocket every time you go out to walk him and you don't take it back out if he doesn't use it because you're afraid one of these days you'll be caught without a poop bag, you will end up with a pocket full of poop bags.

Saturday, January 14, 2012